I'm tempted to run again. Just barely holding myself together. I can feel the panic building, the familiar tension. It's a flight reaction because I can't remember how to fight. He tells me it'll be alright, and I nod and smile, but I think even he can see I'm not convinced - not entirely.
It's early this time. I promise not to think about it, to just let it go, but inside, my thoughts are churning. Why, I wonder, do I yearn to be held back, kept safe, steady; despite fighting it all the while? I used to think that maybe it was the person I was with who couldn't hold me. Now I know better - the one to tame the beast must be me.
But do I even want to? What am I searching for? How will I know?
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"He who makes a beast out of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man" (:
ReplyDeleteanyways
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Talk Chalk :D
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hm. familiar sensation.
ReplyDeletegah! i know this feeling. that urge to run never seems to disappear for good. the beast refuses to be tamed in my case.
ReplyDeleteSt. Fallen: True, but something about that makes me want to dispute it. Talk Chalk rocks! :D
ReplyDeleteMiddle Child: Hmm. Did you get over it?
Delilah: Mine seems tame for the moment, how's yours doing?