A first step. A small one.
Pushing forward through darkness and confusion. Knowing you won't be there. Finding a way not to care. Life is out there, and I will find it, will live it. And the maybes will fade. This time will fade. And I will go on.
Strength is hard to find after so long wasting away, but I had it once. Sanity amongst all the madness of this mad, mad world. It will be alright. Hard to believe when others say it. But now, finally, maybe I can find the courage to.
Missing you surrounded my world for so long. Wrapped it in a shroud of aching, longing, yearning. But you're not here. And maybe never will be. I miss you still, a part of me lost. But it was your choice, so I must make mine. And you've left me no other. So I will learn, and I will grow. And I will hope.. that someday, somewhere, we'll meet again, and I'll hold my own. Unafraid. And you'll see. You'll see me.
But for today, enough of somedays and somehows. I need to find the now.
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It is sometimes hard to live with a choice you were forced to make due to the other person having made his. Hugs.
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